Telepathy

From time to time, an intense craving to understand everything about someone else develops within me. I see the same people day after day, but sometimes I feel as if I don't know them at all. I wish I could read their minds, find out what they really think about all day. I'd like to know what they think about other people; I'd like to know what they think about me, to be honest. It bothers me that I have no idea what other people's actions mean. Is that action a result of his personality, or does it belie his feelings about me? Is what he said directed at me specifically, or is it just a vague comment on society? As someone who likes to be a know-it-all, it drives me up the wall when I can't be. I think maybe that's part of the reason I avoid people occasionally. I do think I have a fairly good intuition, but, as someone equally ruled by logic, it scares me to live and make assumptions based only on intuition. I need evidence. Unfortunately, my heart sometimes takes my mind hostage, and I find myself reading into circumstances or people's actions frequently. That phrase means he hates me. But that one means he could be interested in me, doesn't it? I am continually conflicted. It's terrible. Mind-reading would solve everything. Of course, I'd probably hear what I didn't want to hear, and then I'd be brokenhearted. It's a difficult situation to be in. I guess what I want more than anything else is to stop thinking about the meaning behind things. I want to live my life without questioning people's motives. Sometimes I wish I could just live on autopilot, even though I fully realize that would be a terribly dull, monotonous existence. Nonetheless, it would have its perks, wouldn't it? No more internal debate. No more painful questions. Ah, the life I give up when I live. No, I suppose real life is much better, with all its glory and tragedy, passion and tears, love and heartache.