Brain overload

Sometimes I really, really wish I could stop thinking. I can't count the number of thoughts that are fluttering through my mind even as I write this. It is not easy to balance all of the thoughts that are a result of being a college student, observer/analyzer of other people and introspective person. One second I might be thinking about the definition of beauty for a class (I'll probably blog about that at some point); the next, what it means that this person said this; the next, where some of my issues come from. As much as I love intellectual pursuits, I am definitely learning that it's possible to have too many. The problem is that so many things interest me. And how do I identify what's necessary? I need to write a paper about beauty for one class, a story about drunk driving for another, and think of journalistic ways to address cultural stereotypes for another. At the same time, I'm realizing that things from my past probably had a way bigger impact than I give them credit for, seeing that my friends are struggling with things, and trying to figure out what the right thing to do is in multiple situations. Are these things less important than school? Ordinarily, I would say "yes" without hesitating, but now I'm not so sure. In a lot of respects, I am not okay. I don't mean I'm depressed or suicidal or anything like that; I just mean that things in my life are disordered and that I do have issues that need to be resolved. I'm not sure I have the time or brain capacity to think about these things at the same time as school, which is really scary. That means I have to make a choice. I can go with intellectual work, emotional work, or split my time between the two. Of course, making the jump between intellectual and emotional worlds can be quite difficult. I'm liable to start tearing up when focusing on the emotional -- definitely not appropriate for class or homework. Logic and reason are not easily applied to the world of emotion, and probably shouldn't be. Nonetheless, it looks like I'll be splitting my time. I can't abandon schoolwork, but I can't abandon emotional work (even though I often want to run screaming in the opposite direction these days) with a clear conscience. Stupid conscience.